I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I'm always down for nudity.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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