Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
