Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize