Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
