Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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