I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
this must be what syphilis tastes like
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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