I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
