she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Randomize
