It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
