Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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