Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
