Midget sex pt 2 tonight
It's Friday. Sex?
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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