what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
