am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
