We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize