Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
