My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
