I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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