We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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