Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
