it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
