so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
