i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
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