Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I'm really busy with my period
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