Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Randomize
