White coat. Heels.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
