Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
