so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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