bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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