Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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