I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Randomize
