arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
