He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Randomize
