About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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