i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
