I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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