i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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