But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Randomize
