I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I just got carded by a ten year old.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize