I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
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