Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
