First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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