I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
