Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
