I love watching others lives come down to our level.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
