Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
