If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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