I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
