you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Randomize
