Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Randomize