on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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