someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Randomize
