i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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