i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
