Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
