i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Randomize
