grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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