Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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