im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
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